The Mental Health Crisis for Parents: A Secondary Effect of COVID-19 and How to Cope

Written by Alyssa Carter

The Mental Health Crisis for Parents

A Secondary Effect of COVID-19 and How to Cope

It comes as no surprise to hear that there are elevated instances of depression and anxiety among those raising children during the COVID-19 pandemic. This is a truth deeply felt and understood. (If you don’t need to read further statistics to validate your experience, go ahead and jump down to “So, How Can You Cope?”)

There are elevated instances of depression and anxiety among those raising children during the COVID-19 pandemic.

Those with young children are experiencing three- to five-fold increases in self-reported anxiety and depression symptoms.

To say that the pandemic has been stressful, is a dramatic understatement. The combined weight of financial pressures, lost childcare, and health concerns is exceedingly challenging for families. Now that school is back in session, many parents are trying to juggle work schedules while also managing their children’s online schooling.

Although many parents are struggling, the two subgroups that are particularly at risk for extreme levels of anxiety and depression are those who are pregnant or recently gave birth, and parents who are struggling financially to meet their children’s basic needs.

Pre-pandemic, between 10-25% of birthers experienced anxiety and depression during pregnancy and in the year following childbirth. According to this research paper, the rates have soared with nearly 37% reporting clinically-relevant symptoms of depression and 57% reporting symptoms of anxiety. These symptoms are found to be associated with more concern about the coronavirus to the life of the mother and baby, as well as concerns of the secondary implications of COVID-19—not getting the necessary prenatal care, relationship strain, and social isolation.

There are intergenerational implications to this as well. Children are highly susceptible to the mental health of their caregivers, as they are totally reliant on them. Heightening parental mental illness, domestic conflict, and financial stress are all associated with worsening mental health across children age groups.

“What we really see here is that, as hardships pile up, the combined weight causes severe distress for families.”

In communities facing all of this stress on top of racism and systemic oppression, parent mental illness is disproportionately experienced. Failing to address mental health and parenting needs at both the governmental and community levels will only perpetuate intergenerational health inequities.

Economist Elizabeth Ananat, PhD said in a Duke University press release, “What we really see here is that, as hardships pile up, the combined weight causes severe distress for families. Resilience only takes you so far, and the multiple dimensions of hardship caused by this pandemic—lost jobs, lost child care and education, sickness—are stretching families to the breaking point, with little to no relief from the government”.

This is an inordinate amount of stress, and the ability to go outward for relief and coping mechanisms has been hindered or made totally inaccessible. Those who previously found relief in group exercise classes, therapy sessions, and gatherings with friends are now having Zoom workouts and therapy phone calls, interrupted by household happenings, and can’t always safely see loved ones.

We are 7 months into the pandemic with no real signs of relief on the horizon. How can we as caregivers grow and nurture our children in an environment where our own needs are not being met?

So, How Can You Cope?

Parent Self Care:

You are managing A LOT right now. Try not to stretch yourself too thin.
Be gentle with yourself and each other. We all need to let go of some expectations of normal to accommodate this new temporary reality.
Mental health practices are not a luxury, but a necessity. We must find time to support our own mental wellbeing in some way. We do not do our best work when overstressed, and it can have lasting effects on our health.

Tips to stay connected while practicing social distancing or in quarantine:

Use technology to stay in touch, if available, especially video contact. Seeing someone’s facial expressions can help increase feelings of connection.

Check in with your friends, family, and neighbors regularly, using texts, phone calls, emails and other virtual tools.
Wherever you can, help people in your life who may be more vulnerable (e.g. those with no access to the internet or need help grocery shopping).
Connect with the people in your household. Use this time to improve your existing relationships!
Manage your stress. Create a daily self-care routine. Exercise, meditate, and keep to a daily routine as much as possible. For more information on how to be active, visit Staying Active During the COVID-19 Pandemic.
Show kindness to others in your community. This is very stressful for many people, especially those who are vulnerable and families who may be struggling already with poverty or other stressors. It is also very stressful for healthcare workers and their families. Helping others increases your sense of purpose and value, improving your own wellbeing. It’s not just family and friends who require support, but others in your community.

Lastly, maintain a routine! Children’s mental health is very responsive to expected daily routines—and so are adults. Even just having a regular morning and night routine can significantly impact your daily flow.